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Is sex important in dating? Perhaps you might have asked or been asked before, if it is, how important, and if it is not, why not?
In my last series on relationships, I touched the issue of abusive relationships, today, I’m going to start another series, which promises to be just as interesting as the previous, if not more interesting.
A lot of lads have being led astray, many have lost their lives, and some others have being permanently emotionally traumatized, just because this issue was not addressed early enough to them. Questions were being asked but answers were not coming, they don’t have trusted people to ask or to talk to. Well, let’s get to business.
What does a relationship mean to you?
I saw a stat somewhere that an alarming amount of Indian teenagers do not go into dating because of anything other than sex, this is how bad the definition of sex has been to teenagers, and even kids.
Before this topic becomes a major issue to any individual, the orientation of such individual is very important, which brings me to the question, what do you think relationships are for?
Once the real idea of a relationship is clear to anybody, the expectations from it will be clear and well defined. I will not tell you what a relationship means to me, because that is neither why we are in this discussion nor is my ideal yours, I will just implore you to define for yourself, what a relationship means to you.
Why is sex important in dating?
I will not pretend as though I do not know the argument or debate as to why sex is important in dating or in relationships. And I must say, many of these arguments hold water. I will list a few reasons why these guys who argue in favour of sex in dating have genuine point and why they are getting more and more converts, I will there after list why you must consider abstaining, I won’t make a choice for you, but of course I have a choice, and I will let you know too.
Reasons why people argue against lack of sex in a relationship
The following are why people choose to be intimate in their relationships and not wait till after marriage.
1. Sexual incompatibility in relationships (and then marriage)
Many believe that the issue most people have sexual incompatibility in their marriage is because they might not have tried out while dating. Is this the reason a 12 year old will have tried out over 5 partners?
How many people does a lady want to try out before settling for the right person? How many ladies would a guy attempt to know who is right for him? I thought the law in economics is true, Mans needs are insatiable.
How many people does a lady want to try out before settling for the right person? How many ladies would a guy attempt to know who is right for him? I thought the law in economics is true, Mans needs are insatiable.
2. How to survive a marriage without intimacy
Many also stress that a marriage without intimacy is a result of relationships without sex, I do not want to be direct with my answer to that, it could be, it could also be false, but I think Sexual intimacy alone(though a strong factor) is not the only factor.
3. Inability to get pregnant
The rate ladies lead a reckless life on campus does not help matter. Many get involved in abortions with reckless abandon and the guys do not want to be victim of the effect of their “repentance” after university life. Guys who cannot stand being childless, would rather want to put their desired ladies in the family way during dating, else, no marriage.
Having established the above facts, the big question should be does sex make a relationship stronger ?. I believe when we understand whether sex makes a relationship stronger, it will be easier to make a choice. For me, I do not believe a relationship can be stronger based on sex, before most people go into relationships, they make up their mind what they want from it. So I do not think there is any way sex makes a relationship stronger.
There are spiritual implications that negate the question if sex important in a relationship or not, but people who are ardent fans of the above points care less about the spiritual effect. I think though that the spiritual repercussion of sex before marriage must be but into perspective before your choice is made.
Having established the above facts, the big question should be does sex make a relationship stronger ?. I believe when we understand whether sex makes a relationship stronger, it will be easier to make a choice. For me, I do not believe a relationship can be stronger based on sex, before most people go into relationships, they make up their mind what they want from it. So I do not think there is any way sex makes a relationship stronger.
There are spiritual implications that negate the question if sex important in a relationship or not, but people who are ardent fans of the above points care less about the spiritual effect. I think though that the spiritual repercussion of sex before marriage must be but into perspective before your choice is made.
Can a relationship work without sex
A straight yes, but then with its own challenges. There are still guys and ladies who are committed to making their relationship work without sex, but each comes with it unique issues, just as the sexually active relationships. I think you should look for how to create more emotional intimacy in your relationship, rather than destroy what has the potential of being amazing with few hours of sex.
Why Should I stay away from sex while dating?
There are a few reasons I will give, you can always dig deep and find more reasons for yourself. This of course is my choice which I promised to tell you.
1. You are sexually unattached
Sex creates bonding. It transcends what you just share on that bed. Once you get involved, you are somewhat glued to that partner and as many other partner you go ahead to have. This is one reason why it seems sex is addictive.
2. NO fear of STD
Everyday, STDs’ and STIs’ spread across, HIV is no respecter of any one. Although HIV is not contracted only through sex, it is one of the very major ways it is spread.
3. No Unwanted Pregnancy/abortion
I know many ladies see pregnancy as just a normal thing, “once it comes, I’ll flush it away” they’ll think, but then there will always be repercussions.
4. Lesser Heartbreaks
I want you to get the point I’m driving at, when there is no sex in your relationship, there is lesser damage done to the heart and emotion when things fall apart.
There are many more reasons why you might want to consider a sexless relationship. This post is not to make a choice for you. It is to x-ray the options, and leaves you the choice of making your decisions. Like I said at the beginning of the post, I have a preference, but is shouldn’t affect yours’, the tone of the post must have made you understand what my stand is, and it is abstinence.'
Over to you
Do you think Sex is important in a relationship? What are the effects of a sexless relationship? Do you think we will do better if we understand the importance of a sexless relationship or if we practiced more sex in our relationship? Let us hear your say, is sex important in dating? I want you to answer this question, Is sex over rated?
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